Skip to content

Category: Uncategorized

1

Published on 1 Comment on TEotWaWKI TV Review: After Armageddon
After Armageddon on the History Channel
After Armageddon on the History Channel

Aired on The History Channel

I DVR'd a bunch of stuff that aired during "Apocalypse Week" on the History Channel back in January. I was reluctant to watch this one since it's a talking-head-SMEs-with-reenactors show typical of the History and Discover channels. I was pleasantly surprised, however, that it was both informative and entertaining.

The show posits an outbreak of a virulent disease that wipes out the vast majority of humankind. We follow the experiences of a family during and after the pandemic, through multiple cycles of delay, deliberation and action stretching over years. Their experiences clearly demonstrate fundamental aspects of a survival mentality as well as practical advice.

The show reinforced some basic skills that we should all be familiar with now:

  • Don't be a picky eater
  • Look for water where ever it may be
  • Beware of strangers

I was bemused to learn a new way to gather fuel that would have saved me many a foul mouthful of gas: Puncture the tank and drain it. Why didn't I think of that? I feel like a n00b. If you don't need the vehicle containing the gas, this is much easier than siphoning. I would imagine, though, that you'd need to be careful not to create a spark.

More important than the tactics of survival are the approaches they recommend:

  1. If you have a valuable post-SHTF skill, it's probably best that you hide that fact until you'r certain of your position. You wouldn't want to be held against your will just because the town you passed through doesn't have a doctor.
  2. Don't be stingy with your help, but remember your priorities. Lending aid when it would cost you little may pay you back many times over later.
  3. Understand that the old way of life is over. We were nice back then because we were well off. We could rely on people's good behavior because there was a long term cost to screwing someone over. But when your event horizon is no more than a day or two into the future, those long term concerns evaporate. This makes bad behavior easier.

Those who fail to grok all of these points tend not last long when TEotWaWKI hits.

Finally, the show ably addresses the issue of scale. Knowledge of the extent of the problem — the area affected and how long it will last — greatly increases the chances of survival. However, most people do not have access to this information or reject it when they do. It is hard to part with the world as you knew it. Most people were strongly invested in it: a nice house, a good job and kids in school. I've heard many comments criticizing the family's failure to act in a timely manner. But I understand, it's hard to let go.

Published on
Olive Garden: Not Bad for What It Is
Not Bad for What It Is

I plead guilty to yucking other people's yums. To wit: I have mercilessly mocked Olive Garden and those who think it fine dining. I realize now that it was wrong of me to do so. I committed the sin of expressing subjective opinion as objective fact. Olive Garden just couldn't be good food, but who am I to tell you what is or is not good? More to the point, though, how can I pass judgement on the place if I have not eaten there?

Clearly, I have never had the desire to eat at Olive Garden. I like real Italian food and felt that this place would be an abomination. The only reason why I went was the $50 gift card I had won in a raffle and a guilty sense that I should know that of which I rant. Now, any restaurant can be a good restaurant (supposing it's run with a modicum of skill and a desire to do a good job). The key is to set the right expectations. I prepared myself for this meal by repeating the mantra: "This is not an Italian restaurant, it is Corporate American cuisine made in the Italian idiom." Oh, and I promised I would not complain about over-cooked pasta.

Long story short, it wasn't that bad. The four of us ordered:

  • For an appetizer, we chose to create our own sampler and selected stuffed mushrooms, toasted raviolis and the calamari. Surprisingly, the squid was well cooked, with only a hint of rubberiness. The mushrooms were a tad on the greasy side, but edible. Nobody else seemed to like the raviolis, but I noshed big time.
  • We cycled 3 bowls of soup and an overly large serving of salad amongst us. The soups weren't bad, if a tad salty. The salad was an uninspired assembly of greens headlined by iceberg lettuce.
  • My youngest and I both ordered the special: 4 cheese stuffed pansotti (hers with chicken, mine Italian sausage). The pasta was (tss, tss!), er, um, drenched in a tomato-y cream sauce that actually went well with the sausage. The stuffed pasta seemed almost an afterthought that I wouldn't have missed.
  • My wife and eldest went with items from the appetizer menu. I questioned their selection of steamed mussels, but was proven wrong. The liquid was half way decent, even if overly salty (alas, this was turning into a theme here). They also ordered the Lasagna fritta, which was a disappointment. It looked nothing like the picture on the menu.

As I waddled out, I felt like we got our money's worth (the additional $40 it cost us), but don't think we'll be coming back. For that amount of money (or just a little more), we can get better food elsewhere. The place is not cheap unless you stick to water and the unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks.

One conclusion I reached, though, is that it's no wonder we're an obese nation:

  1. Portion sizes are gigantic. Those weren't plates, they were platters!
  2. Everything is drenched in cream and/or cheese. Why? Perhaps to cover up the fact that the pasta is (Dude! NO!), um, not the best.
  3. There is way too much salt. Telling sign that the dishes weren't made in house, but somewhere else and shipped here.

I felt miserable for the rest of the day, like I had swallowed an indigestible rock. I then made the mistake of looking up the nutritional value of the meal we just ate.

  • We consumed enough calories for the whole day for all four of us.
  • We ingested over 350 grams of fat! The equivalent to 7 Big Macs and 7 large orders of fries.
  • The salt intake was equivalent to the recommend daily amount for nearly 7 people.

I'm still in shock over witnessing a women who had to have been half my size who had ordered something that looked to be twice the size of my meal and she was furiously shaking salt on to it.

Now, I can rationalize crappy nutrition if the food is really good (bypassing for the moment the argument that good food doesn't need so much salt or fat) and I had a good time. This was not the case for me, yet others seem to truly enjoy the place. I won't try to talk them out of it. I would suggest, though, that they might try other places.

Published on
Apocalypse Man starring Rudy Reyes
Apocalypse Man starring Rudy Reyes

Starring Rudy Reyes

The History Channel recently aired their Apocalypse Week. I had very low expectations, but surprisingly, they were exceeded. There is enough useful advice in the shows that I watched to make it worthwhile watching.

Case in point: Apocalypse Man. Rudy Reyes, a former Marine, walks you through the steps necessary to survive a general TEotWaWKI event. Since this was made pre-SHTF, he didn't know to include advice about the undead. Still, he gave some useful advice. This ranges from the general — make your shelter on the second floor of a building: high enough to be defensible, low enough to still escape if necessary — to the specific — steel wool and a 9-volt battery make for a great fire starter.

Still, not all of his guidance is tenable. I'm not talking about about instances where zombies render his suggestions invalid, like making for the hospital (truly, that would be the LAST place I'd've gone). Rather, he seemed to contradict himself by saying, on the one hand, keep a low profile, don't let others know of your existence, yet, on the other, literally broadcast your plans to anyone with a radio. Also, while he's transmitting his destination over the shortwave, he's telling you to get there 24 hours before anyone else so you can scout them out. Wouldn't that be a little difficult now that you've communicated your intentions to everyone within a 20 mile radius?

My daughter also raised the issue that it's fine and dandy if you've had the training it takes to be a member of a Marine recon platoon, but what about the rest of us? I nearly concurred, but realize that this is just the point. You need more than the knowledge of the strategy and tactics of survival. You need to be in shape, you need to have useful skills and a crisis shouldn't be the first time you're doing these tasks. Perhaps that is the real lesson Rudy is teaching.

Published on
Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

Directed by Edgar White

I'll be straight up with you: I hate zombie comedies. It's not just because they're overwhelmingly stupid, but they have no redeeming value. They're usually just a vehicle for idiot frat-boys doing things to unrealistically portrayed undead. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that today's teen-age male population would be wiped out should we have another widespread outbreak given that they probably believe everything they see in those movies.

Let me be clear: Shaun of the Dead is NOT one of those movies!

Yes, it is a comedy. It is hysterical on many levels, not the least of which is the realistic portrayal of how folks typically reacted to the fact that their world is overrun with the undead. But don't let the hilarity fool you. Beneath it lies good advice and excellent examples of how to act (or not) in a catastrophe. Allow me to use the format described in The Unthinkable to describe the movie.

Denial: I'm not talking about those who were thrown into a mental shut down by their inability to cope with the concept of the walking dead, though this was a majority of the deniers and, indeed, several characters in the movie. I'm thinking of people like myself who went on blithely with their lives despite what was happening. Is my behavior any different than Shaun's? He stumbled to the store in a hungover stupor, while I boarded a plane to New York for business. Both of us could have seen the news or even the stumbling corpses in our streets, but didn't connect the dots. It's not really denial, but rather blindness on our parts. Good thing it didn't kill us.

Deliberation: It sounds so simple, let's make a plan and execute it! As the movie shows, it rarely worked out that way. What are your objectives? How best can you achieve them? It's one thing if you're acting alone (which I was in many cases), but the complexity increases geometrically with the size of your group. This is how groups fall apart AND coalesce. I liked how, in the movie, various groups kept encountering each other, exchanging information. Since the period covered in the film was just the first few days of the outbreak, people were inclined to help each other. It would have been interesting to see how the interactions would have turned out if their crisis lasted longer. They may not have been so friendly.

The Decisive Act: What this movie clearly demonstrates is that you cannot judge how someone might behave in a crisis based on their everyday, pre-SHTF behavior. Let's face it, Shaun was a loser. However, when it came to it, he stepped up. I'd've been proud to number him in my group.

I just offed my mum, don't ask me to do my friend.

There's only so much one can take. Shaun proved more able than most, but he still had his limits. That just proves he retained his humanity.

This is an entertaining movie worth watching purely for it's artistic merit. The fact that it ably demonstrates how a good group should act is just icing on the cake.

2

Published on 2 Comments on Movie Review: The Road
The Road directed by John Hillcoat
The Road directed by John Hillcoat

directed by John Hillcoat

As I mentioned before, I feel so strongly about Cormac McCarthy's story that I feared a movie version could do nothing but bring it down. That would have been an atrocity. It is this fear that kept me out of the theater for so long. To my great relief, though, I am happy to report that this is a movie I gladly recommend to anyone, regardless of their interest in the end of times subject.

Mr. Hillcoat takes just enough liberties with the story to keep it fresh for those who have read the book, but not so much that he subverts its meaning. Most of the scenes are there, but the order is slightly jumbled. There is a lot more dialogue than in the book (Bill, how can you tell without the quotation marks? Shut up, you!). He flirted several times with taking the story in a different direction such that it kept me tense, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was thinking that given the nature of the setting, an approach used in Beowolf or 300 might be best, but while the special effects were spot on, it was the acting of Viggo Mortensen that makes the movie. That man was born to play the role of the father.

Given the number of times I've read the book, I was surprised to gain a new insight into the story: The catastrophe had been going on for nearly a decade! I think actually seeing the boy brought this home for me, from his birth through to the age of what I guess to be nearly ten years. Think about that. Ten years of nothing but constant and ever worsening struggle. I don't think I could have done it. This is why the boy is so important to the story. He gives meaning to survival, the reason for the father to keep fighting. Without the boy, it truly would have been pointless.

This gets to the point of survival. I believe those whose had their children by their side at the outbreak were more likely to survive. True, in the short term, they were disadvantaged: their movement was encumbered; extra food was required, but little work could be expected in return; and, the constant fear of what may happen. But that made you fight hard, gave you a reason for going on. The Road is ultimately an optimistic story because of this. Because as long as the flame survives, there is hope.

2

Published on 2 Comments on TEotWaWKI Book Review: The Unthinkable
The Unthinkable by Amanda Ripley
The Unthinkable by Amanda Ripley

by Amanda Ripley

I almost didn't read this, didn't feel I needed to. After all, I survived an unthinkable that was inconceivable to the author when she wrote this book. Also, I have absorbed Deep Survival by Laurence Gonzales into my DNA. I didn't believe that Ms. Ripley could add anything useful. I'm glad I had the opportunity to learn that I was wrong.

From My point of view, The Unthinkable provides insight that differs from Deep Survival in two general ways. First, the later focuses exclusively on individuals and how they interact with their environment, while Ms. Ripley widens her focus to include that of groups large and small. Second — and this addresses my initial thoughts regarding the book's utility going forward — The Unthinkable, I find, is a great tool to allow me to understand what happened during the catastrophe rather than as a guide for my actions in the future. That's not to say this couldn't be useful for those in the future who did not live through the Zombie War.

Ms. Ripley's thesis is that there are three mental stages one goes through in a crisis: denial, deliberation and the decisive moment. This matches my experiences, personally, and what I witnessed in others over and over again, from the outbreak all the way through the War. The author talks about this in two stages: dealing first with your immediate situation, then the realization that the world at large is affected, too. Think 9/11 and an escape from the World Trade Center only to find that you aren't yet safe from the collapsing towers. My personal experiences are similar to others who survived and I probably cycled through that process a dozen times in the first week alone.

Denial

This was the primary cause of death during the outbreak. How could pre-SHTF folks possibly deal with the dead rising? And what if that zombie was a loved one? I'm surprised anyone survived. But that was just the beginning. How many people were in denial that their fellow survivors could be more dangerous than the zombies? How about that first winter? It felt like each succeeding crisis made it harder to move beyond the denial stage.

This is where The Unthinkable complements the work of Mr. Gonzales. One's ability to keep your mental map in sync with reality goes along way to predicting who gets out of denial quicker and able to act effectively.

Deliberation

This is the critical step. Once you accept that the shit has hit the fan, what do you do? Unlike the crises detailed in the book, we had to think in the long run. It wasn't enough just to get through the immediate situation, you had to also think of shelter, food and rest. It was too easy to let that slide in the name of hasty escape only to ensure you eventual death.

Another factor in deliberation is that most people were unable to get through this stage alone. They needed someone to lead them through it. I fear I was not always the person I wish to be during this stage. I didn't always help those in need. It's not hard to find an excuse in a crisis: I need to get to my family, I have only enough food for me, etc. And there was once or twice where someone snapped me out of it in time. Ms. Ripley talks of heroes being a rare breed, but our situation was long enough, replete with plenty of opportunities, that I dare say everyone, at one time or another, was both a hero and a villain.

The Decisive Moment

If denial gets harder to shake off over time, the ability to act gets easier. The less you have to think about it, the likelier it will happen. How this played out varied greatly with the type of crisis you faced, but there was one commonality: suicide. From beginning until even today, years after the end of the War, suicide seems like the only viable option to some. I've talked about this before, my feelings are known, so I won't discuss it here.

Think of this book as a call to action. You cannot blithely go on about life as if nothing bad will happen. You need to be mentally prepared. I'm not saying you should live in constant fear. I am suggesting that it couldn't hurt to always be aware of your surroundings and to at least play out certain scenarios in your head. You don't want the first time you think about escape to be when your life depends upon it.

Published on
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
The Road by Cormac McCarthy

by Cormac McCarthy

The author uses words like Monet applies brush strokes. Mr. McCarthy takes ordinary scenes, frames them in unusual perspectives and creates a story that is both beautiful and horrific. I admit that I am not objective when it comes to his works as he is my favorite author. A movie based on this book was released, but I'm a little hesitant to watch it for fear of what it may do to this great story. Before I do so, I wish to get my thoughts down.

This IS great literature. It may be hard to grasp at first, if The Road is your first book of his. You'll have to get used to his unusual style, especially the fact that he doesn't use quotation marks. You'll be wondering if a line was spoken out loud or even who said it. I implore you to stick it out, though, as it will be worth your while. The fact that you are forced to think about what's written, rather than mindlessly plowing through the pages, gets you into the story. With your mind thus engaged, you'll gain greater insight.

Beyond being a great TEotWaWKI story, this also appears to be a personal allegory for the author. Mr. McCarthy is an elderly man with a very young son. I could not help but see those two at times in this story. But I do not wish to delve into the literary aspects of the book, this review will focus on the lessons for end of the world survival: food, security and the philosophy of survival.

Despite all of the horrors in the Zombie Wars, the lack of food was never more than a short term problem, except for those in the far north during that first winter. Everyone experienced hunger at one time or another, sometimes quite severe. But the fact that the catastrophe was not an environmental one and the greatly reduced human population (at least the non-undead), meant that as long as you were able to devote time to the effort, you'd be able to find sustenance. I cannot imagine ALWAYS wondering when my next meal would occur. Heck, even the thought that there was a finite supply of food that will run out eventually would drive me insane.

The food situation in The Road directly impacts the state of one's security. EVERYONE realizes there's only so much food. All bets are off. It's not just a matter of protecting your own supply, but you, too, could be considered food. This is different than dealing with zombies. First, you cannot form large groups. Even if you tried, they would tear apart during the first lengthy period without food. Second, you have to be constantly on the move. You will either exhaust the local food supply or others will learn how good you have it. It must be difficult to walk away from food that you cannot easily carry. Finally, what do you do when the food truly does run out?

That final reckoning, I believe, is the major TEotWaWKI point made in this book. What is the point of survival? It becomes extremely difficult to argue with those who want to end it all. Why struggle and suffer when everyone's going to starve to death or meet with a brutally violent end anyways? This was an issue during our catastrophe. I knew a number of people who swallowed a bullet rather than deal with the world as it now is. I took everyone of those as a betrayal. But in The Road? I don't know.

Read this book and think good and hard. What is the point of it all? I did not fight the Zombie War just so I could return to a life where I worried about making my credit card payments.

3

Published on 3 Comments on TEotWaWKI Movie Review: 2012
2012
2012

Directed by Roland Emmerich

The ratings I assign should reflect the quality of the TEotWaWKI survival advice, not the movie itself. This is difficult when a good movie steers you wrong, like 28 Days / Weeks Later, or a poorly written book chock full of excellent tips. For the movie 2012, though, I have no such difficulties. This is truly a bad movie unredeemed by any useful pointers. It's not really the director's fault. The end of the world event is so catastrophic that there's nothing you can do, despite the implausible ending of this story.

The movie is bad on so many different levels. You have nearly every cliché present. You have implausible action after implausible action. I mean, truly, how many times do we have to see an air plane find the only safe flight path by flying under something improbable? And to top it all off, it was way too long. John Cusack must answer for this. How can an actor of such quality associate himself with this crap?

If you're a teenage boy or you have nothing else to do and don't mind wasting money, then I suppose you should see this. It does have some astounding special effects, even if they do defy your ability to suspend disbelief. Just remember, if we are faced with an astronomical event of this magnitude, the only thing you can do is make peace with your God and then throw one hell of a party.

3

Published on 3 Comments on TEotWaWKI Movies Review: 28 Days Later / 28 Weeks Later
28 Days Later
28 Days Later

28 Weeks Later
28 Weeks Later

Days directed by Danny Boyle, Weeks directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo

A very important lesson was learned during these movies, but not by someone who was watching them nor for anything specific about the content. I beat the living crap out of the Anderson's boy. We had to take him to the hospital. His father came after me with a gun to even the score, but once he learned what happened, believed the boy got off light. Let me explain.

I'm watching the opening scene of the second movie (28 Weeks Later), utterly filled with terror. The movie making is so good, I feel like I'm there. I've had more than my fair share of encounters with the undead, but the thought that they could run so fast caused me to panic. I wasn't in that room, watching that movie. I couldn't suck in enough air, I got a stitch in my side as if I, too, were running from the infected.

It was at that point that Jacky decided to jump out and scare me. Next thing I know, Javi is pulling me off him. I had grabbed a lamp and was pummeling the boy with it. I feel terrible for what I did, but, dude, that was wrong. He's lucky I didn't have a gun at hand.

That's how good these movies are. You should watch them.

The premise of this story line is that a virus causes the infected to become consumed with a mindless rage, a desire to destroy the uninfected. The initial outbreak seems to occur in London and spreads from there. The first movie, Days, follows a bicycle messenger who wakes up from a coma weeks after the outbreak. He has no idea what happened. The second movie, Weeks, covers the period just before containment of the initial outbreak to its re-emergence. I like the fact that the two movies do not share any characters and that there is a slight overlap in the time period they cover. They come across as independent efforts.

Again, these are a must see. Just be mindful of the lessons you absorb.

First of all, this is not just a fictional story, but that world compares to ours as apples to oranges. I mentioned the sprinting zombies (OK, I realize they are not undead, but, effectively, they are the same), but the rate of infection is just as speedy: within seconds, a healthy human becomes a raging maniac. This requires a completely different mind set. In that world, there can be no room for doubt. True, outbreaks did and still do occur in our world. However, now that we're aware of how to deal with them and have procedures in place to do so, we are extremely unlikely to have another one as serious as the first. Besides, we don't have the resources to deal with the level of effort required to ensure that every single human is free of infection at all times. That would have a seriously negative impact on our quality of life.

Secondly, many characters had a rather blasé attitude towards security, even for our standards. In Days, they camp in the outdoors, with no protection from marauding infected. Sure, they set up watches, but still, you need four walls to be sure of a good night's sleep. And in the final scenes of that movie, at the fortified estate, the military unit certainly didn't practice light and noise discipline. I hardly think the undead would attack piece meal over the course of weeks. Everyone of them within sight and sound range would have made a bee line to the place. And don't get me going on the medical containment security in Weeks.

Selena in 28 Days Later
Selena in 28 Days Later
Sergeant Doyle in 28 Weeks Later
Sergeant Doyle in 28 Weeks Later

These idiosyncrasies did not ruin the movie for me because the characters more than made for them. Each movie had someone I'd want on my team during a crisis. Selena from Days is a woman who knows how to survive and doesn't hesitate to do what's necessary. She may be so tightly wound up that she couldn't re-adjust to a new normality, but during SHTF, she'll have your back. Sergeant Doyle from Weeks is a well trained US Army sniper. Not only can he effectively deal with Zed, he can be just as ruthless with "normals" of ill intent. And, yet, he comes across as a nice guy when not in crisis mode. This is a rarity since someone who works well during SHTF tends not to be a well adjusted person when things return to normality (myself, for example).

Anyways, see this movie, but with a grain of salt. Oh, and make sure the house is empty of pain in the ass neighbor kids, just in case.

Published on

Man Called Zombie While Ordering Food, Punched Twice

OK, I can appreciate this guy's initiative, but please, when confronting the undead, follow this protocol:

  1. Clear the premises.
  2. Alert the authorities.
  3. Monitor all exits.

Let the professionals deal with the situation. That's what they're trained to do.